is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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