Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
