thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
