Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
