hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
