Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
