i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
