I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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