im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
