I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
