i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
