omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
