sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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