lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
