so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
