GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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