idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
