No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
