you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
