you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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