And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
