did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Did I show you my penis last night?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
