dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he puts the penis in happiness.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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