I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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