In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
