Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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