Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
