i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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