Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
