i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
