I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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