does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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