It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
