so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize