He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I could fuck to npr.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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