I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
