i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I think i got beer on your cat.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
