He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
