There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Randomize
