I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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