how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
