Sry I called you an 8
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize