he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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