i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Randomize
