i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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