Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
