I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize