I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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