he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
