Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Two words: nipple clamps
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