the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
