I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize