so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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