i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
