Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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