So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
