Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
