I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
