so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
